Mike Leach’s best quotes and jokes, from Bigfoot to Halloween candy corn

Mississippi State football coach Mike Leach was known for air raiding on the field and his colorful personality off the field.

It led to many, many, many legendary quotes and soliloquies throughout his coaching career. A prominent college football coach spends a lot of time in front of the media, and few have used it like Leach has for more than two decades.

Leach, 61, was airlifted to the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson after suffering a heart attack at his home Sunday and died Monday night. His hospitalization followed a wave of support from all corners of the college sports world, from fellow SEC coaches to former players and administrators.

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To cover all of his greatest quotes would take thousands of words. Here are eight golden quotes from Leach in front of a microphone:

About the possession of weapons and Viking axes

Leach, a gun owner, has commented on the enforcement of gun laws on multiple occasions. He told 750 AM in Portland, Oregon, in 2015 that new gun owners should “show a level of proficiency and get a license before you’re allowed to operate anything dangerous.”

Leach also said he keeps his handguns locked away and separate from ammunition. This led to a discussion about Viking axes.

“Because if you think about it carefully, statistically, you’re more likely to shoot yourself, a loved one or a relative,” he said. “There’s this (absurd) idea of ​​’If you enter my house I’ll shoot you.’ I have a Viking ax next to my bed if I have to hit someone… My wife bought me a Viking ax: the side of the ax folds down so you can grab your opponent by the neck and you can use it to climb walls, like a grappling hook”.

On the Pac-12 mascots

In 2019, while in Washington State, Leach considered which Pac-12 mascot would win in a battle royal.

  • Arizona: “I’ll say Wildcat is out.”

  • USC: “The Trojan, does he have a horse or is he on foot? Does he have a bow and arrow or just his sword?”

  • UCLA: “The Bruin, downright formidable.”

  • Cal: “Another bear in Cal.”

  • Stanford: “The tree, I bet that tree is going to be cut down. Unless we’re going with a bird and somebody might get pecked or something, I don’t know.”

  • Oregon: “The Duck might lose interest and fly off and get out of there, which might be good advice under the circumstances.”

  • Washington: “The Husky, no chance.”

  • Oregon State: “The beaver, we’ll see how long that beaver can hold its breath.”

  • Utah: “The Ute, let’s get back to — is he on horseback? Does he have a bow and arrow? Did he trade for a rifle? Because if that Ute has a rifle, there are some definite issues.”

  • State of Arizona: “You should get one of those Harry Potter activists to read up on how to kill a sun devil, because there’s a lot of external stuff there.”

  • Colorado: “Just as far as a beast by itself is concerned, it’s going to be pretty hard to tangle with a buffalo.”

  • Washington State: “Butch (The Cougar) is going to have to be smart and smart. Butch will find a way, no doubt.”

It seems that Leach would prefer Buffalo, Sun Devil and Ute in a mascot-fueled Royal Rumble on the west coast.

‘Fat Little Friends’

Leach used the term “fat little girlfriends” as recently as last month after the Bulldogs’ narrow win against Auburn. The origin, at least publicly, came from a 2009 loss to Texas A&M that followed explosive wins over Kansas State and No. 15 Nebraska.

“As coaches, we haven’t been able to get through to them,” Leach said. “As coaches, we couldn’t make our coaching points any more persuasive than their fat girlfriends. Now, their fat girlfriends have some obvious advantages. First, their fat girlfriends tell them what they want to hear, which is how big are you and how easy will it be… and we had a group of people who wanted to win the soccer game, but nobody wanted to play the soccer game.”

Candy corn and other seasonal foods

Leach, then at Washington State, said during a 2017 Halloween event that her favorite candy was red grape vines. He was then asked by a member of the media about the candy corn and he didn’t hold back.

“I’ve never liked candy corn. I think it’s just awful,” Leach said as documented by Pac-12 Network cameras. “I think rock candy is awful. You know, it’s like fruitcake. There’s a reason they serve fruitcake once a year, because it’s awful. There’s a reason they serve julips.” mint only once a year, because they’re awful. that’s why they only serve candy corn once a year, because it’s awful. Now this begs the question why they serve it, but, still, this is my opinion .

Leach was right about some seasonal treats. If candy corn, candy canes, Sweethearts and other things were so good, why wouldn’t people eat more and more of them?

Leach the weatherman

The six-minute clip of Leach’s weather report debut in Lubbock during his time as head coach at Texas Tech is worth watching.

The most notable quote may be this: “My favorite weather pattern is when it rains mud. The dust passes, it rains over and it rains mud. Now, I know that people who have been here for a while don’t like that particular phenomenon.” so do I. But think about it: how many times in your life will you actually see him raining mud?”

Bigfoot and aliens

While in Washington State in 2017, Leach offered his thoughts on Bigfoot during a media availability.

“We found dinosaur bones and everything, but we didn’t find any bones that I’ve heard of, from Bigfoot,” Leach said. “It would be funny if Bigfoot was there. I hope there is Bigfoot. But I guess there isn’t.”

And the aliens?

“Aliens, I suspect there is,” Leach said. “And I don’t know if they’re little green men and I don’t know if they’re specifically in our galaxy.

“To me, it’s always been naïve. On Earth, they say, ‘We’re the only ones.’ Really? Why? Have you been to other planets? Have you checked other planets? I mean, it makes more sense to me that if it happened here, it happened somewhere else rather than it just happened here.

Leach’s pet raccoon, Bilbo Baggins

Leach wrote a lengthy piece for The Players Tribune in 2017 on five non-football topics, starting with his time as a child with his pet raccoon, Bilbo Baggins, named after ‘The Hobbit’ protagonist.

Bilbo got along with most humans and other pets, though he also frequently got into pots and pans in the kitchen, Leach said. The money story has come to an end.

“One night, Bilbo got particularly feisty, so my dad and I took him into the woods,” Leach wrote. “Once we found a good spot, we stopped and I put him down and took off his collar. He wandered around, taking in his new surroundings. I preface this next part by saying I think humans and animals share an unspoken understanding, to a certain extent. That’s why it’s so easy to bond with pets. So this is how I remember saying goodbye to Bilbo: He walked about 10 yards away from the truck, and then turned around and there he looked and kind of had this expression like, ‘It was nice to meet you.’ This was the moment where he and I both knew we had some good times, but we didn’t.”

Leach on fleeing against a wedding

Leach has had a couple of soliloquies about weddings and elopement, with his most recent comments coming in October after a Mississippi State victory in response to SEC Network sideline reporter Alyssa Lang, who said she was planning a wedding.

“We’ll keep an eye on it, but whatever you and Trevor decide, I’d keep it on the low end a bit, which you’ve failed to do,” Leach said. “Trevor was probably planning on doing it, but you didn’t, so go ahead and say nothing more about it, but as soon as the season is over, or even a week off, run away. Trust me. Go run, because pretty much every woman in the family will terrorize you until it’s over. Once it’s over, I mean, they’ll be shocked for a few days, but it’ll be over and then you can go ahead and enjoy yourself. Marriage, good life.”

Lang tried to end the interview there. Leach wasn’t finished.

“Trevor, unless he’s crazy, is totally on my side,” Leach said. “Trust me. If Trevor doesn’t have the sense to do it, tell him to call me. I’ve told all my kids, ‘I’ll give you $10,000 more if you run away.’ They haven’t done it yet, but so would I.”

There were so many fascinating quotes from Leach, too many to count. The list stops there, but Leach’s comments on goths, dating advice, weather patterns in different parts of the country, the Texas A&M Aggies, the Pirates, the Chicago Cubs, the need to expand the college football after the season and so much more. on.

This article originally appeared on Mississippi Clarion Ledger: Mike Leach’s Best Quotes and Jokes, from Bigfoot to Candycorn

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